-=[the edge]=-

Sunday, December 12, 2004

my life's story

As I sat there listening to Reverand Dr D.V. Hurst speaking at his fireside chatting about his life's story, I begin to start thinking how he would have felt.

Imagine You are being asked to recount your life story. What happened and what you think can be imparted as life's lesson.

Being born to Roy and Carol Seah on the 25th August 1986, on a Wednesday night. That extra statistic in Singapore population did not make any difference, proberly only to my parents. This newborn baby was a nobody. Simply nobody at all.

Grown and raised up in an average home, I did not have much to worry. Lived a carefree life for the first five years of my life till one day.

My Grandfather passed away. I remember as a little kid, peering into the coffin, thinking to myself why would my grandpa like to sleep in a pink cushioned box till he did not want to wake up. With that idea of pink cushioned box is the ideal place to sleep, i fashioned one with my mum's pillow and a huge box. But i just cant sleep. Finally on the last day of the wake, as we were headed out to Mt Vernon to cremate my grandpa, as i saw all my relatives crying, the full realisation struck me. My grandpa was not returning. Never Ever. Not going to make small motor cars for me. Not coming home to join me in my super nitendo games. I sobbed silently in one corner. As they slot the coffin into the cremation slot, i gathered myself strong as i silently comforted my grandma and my mum. I cried not cause i miss my grandpa. Well partially. But i cried cause they were sad and it breaks my heart.

From then on, death horrified me. Months later, two of my uncles passed away. One in Singapore and one in Selangor. I kept asking. What is death like? What happened after death?

At 6, one day i was playing a lego and tried something i thought at that time was smart. I stuck a lego up my nostril and i thought i could suddenly scare my brother. But i stuck it up to deep and it went stuck inside. I panicked. Ended up at A&E. And they have to use a vaccuum pump to pull it out. At that time, i remembered asking my parents. Am i dying? I don't wanna die.

At 7, Baptised in both water and holy spirit. The question of death did not horrify me as i had peace for the next few years

12 years of age, i entered into hospital after PSLE because i had internal bleeding. All of my veins cracked and were spewing out blood everywhere. Blotches of red appeared on my skin. Fully weakened joints. But i did not know it till after watchnite service at WTC. I went up for a testimony with Jeremiah supporting me lieterally. So weak, yet i said something that shocked the adult teachers at that time. I said, "Even no matter how sick i am, how bad i feel. I want everything that i am to praise him and to serve his kingdom."

That night i was hospitalised again, with more dire results. Had to take unlimited blood test that i have to have a vein constantly punctured to have easy blood realease. One night, one of the nurse forgot to tighten the knob, ended up bleeding over the bed. Thank God a nurse came to do rounds two hours later or i would have slept till i died.

Was realeased much later in the 2nd month, went school and stuff. But i manage to pull through.
In the four years on my secondary school life, i abstained from BGR (at least till 4th year - a close one). While what God was doing is refining me and moulding me.

After Os, worked in church. Cause that is where i am called to.

Then ITE, during that year lead me to realise committments to SC (Student Council) and to a special someone in my life... a commitment that i know would last. hahaha... should not continue.

but yar. I realise one thing. God is moulding me still and yar, times are tough but we got a tougher God yar? Wait... no no no.. We got a God!

For those full time calling, urge you to do something about that calling. Don't sit back and wait. Will proberly have to catch up with some of you yar....

Will be busy this week everyone, email me or tag. Miss you all!

Ciao and blessings in the name of God.
Brian

brian wrote his thoughts 11:24 PM